39 replies to this topic

[colours]

As I re-read this thread , I am wondering if you are suffering from a loss of libido caused by menopause. It's normal for many women to lose thir sexual desire in their 50's due to starting menopause . I am assuming you are not taking prescription anti- depressants ( such as paxil ,etc.) which also can cause loss of libido . Men and women view most everything differently because of our genetic /hormonal structure . Accept that fact and learn to work with it ( and not try to fight it ) and you will be happier in your dealings with the opposite sex .

[muppet]

As I re-read this thread , I am wondering if you are suffering from a loss of libido caused by menopause. It's normal for many women to lose thir sexual desire in their 50's due to starting menopause . I am assuming you are not taking prescription anti- depressants ( such as paxil ,etc.) which also can cause loss of libido . Men and women view most everything differently because of our genetic /hormonal structure . Accept that fact and learn to work with it ( and not try to fight it ) and you will be happier in your dealings with the opposite sex .

Sorry friend, but you are WAY off track here ... nothing at all wrong with my libido. Am certainly not depressed and even if I was, I despise pharmaceutical drugs .... would never take that approach, and I mean NEVER. I find it interesting that so few people understand the moral angle to casual sex. Call me old fashioned ... don't care. Each to their own. Whatever works for YOU.

Yes, some women lose their sex drive, but that is not my issue (thank goodness!). I'm going to TALK to my man (think that was the best advice offered here) ... and we will work something out. I'm optimistic (and dare I say, horny).

Best to you, M.

Edited by muppet, 07 September 2006 - 12:10 PM.

[OEXCHAOS]

You GO, Girl! M

[mbradley]

Muppet, I have heard this conversation a million times in my life and I know how it will end. You have already made up your mind. I bet ten e-minis you sleep with before the weekends over. Now go out there and enjoy your life.

Edited by mbradley, 07 September 2006 - 07:03 PM.

[esther231]

Can't wait to hear the end of the story. Hope you're right and it's a happy one.

[Rogerdodger]

I have been trying to think of something intelligent to say.
But your question will be debated for eternity.
Here is the best way to sum it up:


Men's brains:

Women's brains:

Edited by Rogerdodger, 11 September 2006 - 09:15 PM.

[Guru Dudette]

Made a promise to myself a long time ago that I wouldn't have sex again (maybe ever - if need be) unless I found the right, mutually respectful, loving, committed, caring relationship.

I know you're asking men, but I thought I'd toss in my $.02:

I respect your decision to devote your sexual energy to someone worthy of it.Good for you.

But the questions arise in the back of my head-- "What if he doesn't have the same sexual values? What if sex to him is just a way of getting to know if you're the rtight woman for HIM?" You'd better hash these ideas out long before you think of jumping in the sack IF it's really important to you that you be in a committed realtionship first.

And you'd better be honest with him about what your goals and sexual mores are ASAP or you're setting yourself up for a short, unproductive relationship based on misunderstanding.

Good luck.

[hiker]

describes how to nurture love in all its forms....this book/tape pertains to both men and women:

http://soundstruesto...t/aw00222d.html

of course, my simple version about what actions and behavior sustain love/genuine intimacy:

"love is patient, kind and forgiving"

I completely agree with Dudette's thoughts.

this book/tape is also thought provoking for examining the way we relate to our mate and why:

http://soundstruesto...t/af00971d.html

almost everything this guy writes is useful to our awareness and can be put into practice:

http://soundstruesto...t/aw00560d.html

Personally, I believe growth and health in loving ourselves and others stems from: awareness, gratitude, and compassion

Edited by hiker, 23 September 2006 - 04:58 PM.

[muppet]

Have been away for awhile with other friends ... wonderful trip. Have not slept with my "hot" male friend yet .... and after some time away, don't think I will. There is great sexual chemistry (despite being a couple of old farts .... believe me, it can still be STRONG ... and it is a great feeling ... lust is a temporary high ... but, like stocks, can quickly crash). Lust is just not enough anymore. Am still talking to this man ... and we'll still see each other at a mutual club, but at this point, don't think it will amount to any more than that. And I feel good about the decision. At least for now Actually met someone else who is kind, gentle and a great communicator. Also tall and good looking .... chemistry is brewing. This man makes me feel understood and we have a connection .... there is lots of laughter / humor ... AND ... he has not been pressuring me for SEX. Hey, I want a great sexual relationship as much as anyone else, but have realized that for me ... need that close intimate trust and communication and respect and joy in shared activities FIRST .... or the rest is just a big bowl of Orgasmic Hagen Daz icecream .... quickly indulged in ... yes, enjoyed .... and perhaps a quick "fix" ... but leaving me with a giant emotional hangover. Trust me, men .... I'm not the only woman who feels this way. I'm not saying that my choices are right for anyone else .... if you feel great sleeping with every man that gets your hormones surging ... well, do as you please .... but am happy with my choice ... at present. I'll let you know if I do end up in the sack with Mr. Hot .... but at this point, he's been metaphorically put on ice. Thanks folks, for all your comments ... interesting ... but in the end (or not) ha ha ... the buck stops here. Happy kissing and happy loving, Muppet

Edited by muppet, 24 September 2006 - 02:52 PM.

[OEXCHAOS]

I think you made the right decision. Your reaction is pretty solid evidence of that. Just keep at it... It'll come. M