39 replies to this topic

[muppet]

SS .... I did like your analogy of "stocks" to "men" .... kinda funny And Mark (entropy) .... thanks for your response. And thanks to other poster for message board info. Lots of food for thought. Maybe even an aphrodisiac or two. Ain't life grand? At least someone's still interested in my old bag of bones ... guess I should be more than grateful for that!!! M.

[esther231]

This guy sounds like a keeper. He's let you know that he's not only interested in sex by becoming your friend first. What's not to like? If it's truly against your faith, then you gotta talk to him sooner rather than later. Put it on the table. He might need to keep it all at the friendship level. Or he might not. But he needs to know if it's that strong a belief for you.

[swanstkdh]

A relationship WITHOUT sex ??? You're kidding , right ?? If a man wants a buddy , he gets himself a dog.

That is the most honest answer I have heard yet.

[muppet]

So does this mean a woman is ONLY a sex object? Otherwise, no better than a dog? Well, that is interesting.

Edited by muppet, 07 September 2006 - 09:43 AM.

[calmcookie]

So does this mean a woman is ONLY a sex object? Otherwise, no better than a dog?

Well, that is interesting.

I have no idea how most men "think" .... but if this is really true, then it is sad, sad, sad.

Perhaps it's only a limited proportion of them ... (the animals ) .... yes, that's what I prefer to believe. Might be wrong. Such is life.


Knees

To daily kneel in humble praise
Your grateful loving heart to raise
Simple servant true,
Begin the day anew

And as you speak, come from the heart
Feel deep within, sincerely start
Connect at once to source within
Creative power will begin

Amazing grace will fill your day
But listen not to what I say
For there's a power, oh so fine
That trumps these words, the great divine

Edited by calmcookie, 07 September 2006 - 09:55 AM.

[OEXCHAOS]

Muppet,
when a sex object is your buddy, THEN you REALLY have something.


As a man who has "enjoyed the company of women" in my youth (copiously ), I can tell you that sex objects are overrated. Nobody wants to hang out with a sex object after sex. I completely tired of such people by about age 18, if not sooner. Most (but not all) men do, sooner or later. In fact, I couldn't tolerate "sex objects" long enough to have sex!

That said, when dating, despite societal assertions to the contrary, sex is the point. Not JUST sex, but yes, the point is to find a compatable mate or at least partner with whom you can have sex with. One hopes and plans to have more, typically, but there's a structural biological imperative/presumption to the whole "dance" of dating.

BTW, I think that the best comments in this whole thread entail TALKING about all this stuff with your manfriend. The process will have little downside. If it's meant to be, you'll get closer and frankly, that is imperative. I'm about as pro-sex as you get (any way, with whomever you wish), but in most contexts, if you aren't close enough to really discuss this stuff, you probably shouldn't be considering sex yet.

Mark

So does this mean a woman is ONLY a sex object? Otherwise, no better than a dog?

Well, that is interesting.

I have no idea how most men "think" .... but if this is really true, then it is sad, sad, sad.

Perhaps it's only a limited proportion of them ... (the animals ) .... yes, that's what I prefer to believe. Might be wrong. Such is life.

I think it's probably important to say that there are some folks, men and women, who WANT AND LIKE to objectify or be objectified by members of the opposite sex. Perhaps not all the time, nor by everyone, but for some, it's a driving force. They WANT that feeling, and that's what drives them to relationships with folks who want to give it to them. Of course, they can't get around the fact that they're human and in time, they end up being close loving committed people to each other. It's just important to realize that there are a lot of different approaches to "love".



Mark

[calmcookie]

Mark, I'm sincerely curious when you say "no one wants to hang out with a sex object, after sex" ... is it because you found these women to be dull or stupid ... or they couldn't carry on a conversation ... or did you have no respect for them? .... what was it, exactly ? I occasionally wonder whether men feel threatened by intelligent women. Guess it depends on how strong the mans OWN ego is. What exactly DO men want? Ahhhh yes, that is the question. C.C.

Edited by calmcookie, 07 September 2006 - 10:19 AM.

[OEXCHAOS]

Mark,

I'm sincerely curious when you say "no one wants to hang out with a sex "object" after sex" ... is it because you found these women to be dull or stupid ... or they couldn't carry on a conversation ... or did you have no respect for them? .... what was it, exactly ? I occasionally wonder whether men feel threatened by intelligent women. Guess it depends on how strong the mans OWN ego is.


What exactly DO men want? Ahhhh yes, that is the question.


C.C.

I guess what I was saying is that if ALL you want from someone is sex, then why would you want to hang out with them once you exhausted yourself? I personally couldn't go for the "super hot female" if that's all she is. By that, I mean that I couldn't tolerate her long enough to have sex with her. I personally need intelligence and personality. Being hot, but lacking intelligence and personality is the worst pairing because the "hotness" begets an arrogance unsupported by anything lasting or important.

The lack of respect? That only comes from people who lack integrity or other key personality factors. Certainly, there's no one I respect more than one who is bright, genuine, and ethical who wants sex and is open about such. That probably is at odds with the attitudes of many "traditional" sorts.

Mark

[esther231]

It's sort of funny when you think about it - that whole old image of a man not respecting a woman because she has sex with him. What does that say about the man's self esteem? lol

[esther231]

Not a comment on Mark's post. I agree with him. Just a comment on the old image.