Post your jokes
#1
Posted 22 September 2007 - 12:31 PM
"I believe that sex is one of the most natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
Tom Clancy
"You know "that look" women get when they want to have sex? Me either."
Steve Martin
"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
Woody Allen
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday Night."
Rodney Dangerfield
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
George Burns
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
Sharon Stone
"My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's reading."
Steve Jobs (founder Apple Computers)
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-b*tch."
Jack Nicholson
"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
Barbara Bush (former US First Lady)
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
Robin Williams
"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
Roseanne
"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
Billy Crystal
"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
Robert DeNiro
"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
Rod Stewart
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis and only enough blood to run one at a time."
Robin Williams
#2
Posted 22 September 2007 - 12:58 PM
BIGGEST SCIENCE SCANDAL EVER...Official records systematically 'adjusted'.
#3
Posted 23 September 2007 - 05:22 PM
A DOG ALWAYS OFFERS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. CATS HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT!!
#4
Posted 24 September 2007 - 02:51 PM
A DOG ALWAYS OFFERS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. CATS HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT!!
#5
Posted 24 September 2007 - 04:43 PM
#6
Posted 24 September 2007 - 05:44 PM
BIGGEST SCIENCE SCANDAL EVER...Official records systematically 'adjusted'.
#7
Posted 26 September 2007 - 07:23 PM
A DOG ALWAYS OFFERS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. CATS HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT!!
#8
Posted 26 September 2007 - 08:45 PM
Vaseline Market Research
A man doing market research knocked on a door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet.
He says, "I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?"
She says, "Yes. My husband and I use it all the time."
"And if you don't mind me asking, what do you use it for?"
"We use it for sex."
The researcher was a little taken back. "Usually people lie to me and say that they use it on a child's bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex. I admire you for your honesty. Since you've been frank so far, can you tell me exactly how you use it for sex?"
The woman says, "I don't mind telling you at all. My husband and I put it on the door knob and it keeps the kids out."
(AND YOU THOUGHT WHAT? )
Edited by spielchekr, 26 September 2007 - 08:47 PM.
#9
Posted 26 September 2007 - 09:37 PM
#10
Posted 27 September 2007 - 11:53 AM