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#191 Rogerdodger

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Posted 08 May 2008 - 11:15 PM

Skinny Dipping

An elderly man in Chattanooga had owned a large farm for several years.
He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with
glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence, and they all went to the deep
end. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!
The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."

Some old men can still think fast!

Then there's MSS.
:P

Edited by Rogerdodger, 08 May 2008 - 11:17 PM.


#192 esther231

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Posted 09 May 2008 - 03:09 PM

True blond story -


http://www.youtube.c...feature=related

Edited by esther231, 09 May 2008 - 03:15 PM.

When I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race. ~H.G. Wells

#193 mss

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Posted 09 May 2008 - 06:31 PM

:o
There was a church down in Chattanooga that had a very big-busted organist. Her breasts were so huge that they bounced while she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably.

The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist.

One of the ladies approached her very discreetly and told her to mash up some green persimmons, and rub them on her breasts... maybe they would shrink the size. But she also warned her to not eat any of the green persimmons because they are so sour, they would make her mouth pucker up and she wouldn't be able to talk properly for a while. The organist agreed to try it.

The following Sunday morning the interim minister walked up to the pulpit and said, "Dwe twoo thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol we will not hath a thermon twooday... "

:o R D :o

WOMEN & CATS WILL DO AS THEY PLEASE, AND MEN & DOGS SHOULD GET USED TO THE IDEA.
A DOG ALWAYS OFFERS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. CATS HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT!!

#194 mss

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Posted 24 February 2009 - 12:11 PM

The Pastor's {bleeeep} The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S {bleeeep} OUT FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S {bleeeep}. This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST {bleeeep} IN TOWN. The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS {bleeeep} FOR $10. This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER {bleeeep} IS WILD AND FREE. The bishop was buried the next day. The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery . . even shorten your life. So be yourself and enjoy life. Stop worrying about everyone else's {bleeeep} and you'll be a lot happier and live longer! Have a nice day
WOMEN & CATS WILL DO AS THEY PLEASE, AND MEN & DOGS SHOULD GET USED TO THE IDEA.
A DOG ALWAYS OFFERS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. CATS HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT!!

#195 stocks

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Posted 04 September 2009 - 03:26 PM

What's for breakfast?


-- -
Defenders of the status quo are always stronger than reformers seeking change, 
UNTIL the status quo self-destructs from its own corruption, and the reformers are free to build on its ashes.