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COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT > If, like me, you are old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and > old enough to admit that you don't REALLY understand computers, you will > appreciate this. > > > > If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, > "Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this: > > > > COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT > > > > > ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? > > > > COSTELLO: Thanks I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking > about buying a computer. > > > > ABBOTT: Mac? > > > > COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou. > > > > ABBOTT: Your computer? > > > > COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one. > > > > ABBOTT: Mac? > > > > COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou. > > > > ABBOTT: What about Windows? > > > > COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here? > > > > ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows? > > > > COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows? > > > > ABBOTT: Wallpaper. > > > > COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software. > > > > ABBOTT: Software for Windows? > > > > COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write > proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have? > > > > ABBOTT: Office. > > > > COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything? > > > > ABBOTT: I just did. > > > > COSTELLO: You just did what? > > > > ABBOTT: Recommend something. > > > > COSTELLO: You recommended something? > > > > ABBOTT: Yes. > > > > COSTELLO: For my office? > > > > ABBOTT: Yes. > > > > COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office? > > > > ABBOTT: Office. > > > > COSTELLO: Yes, for my office! > > > > ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows. > > > > COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm > sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need? > > > > ABBOTT: Word. > > > > COSTELLO: What word? > > > > ABBOTT: Word in Office. > > > > COSTELLO: The only word in office is office. > > > > ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows. > > > > COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows? > > > > ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W". > > > > COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some > straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can > track my money with? > > > > ABBOTT: Money. > > > > COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have? > > > > ABBOTT: Money. > > > > COSTELLO: I need money to track my money? > > > > ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer. > > > > COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer? > > > > ABBOTT: Money. > > > > COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer? > > > > ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge. > > > > COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much? > > > > ABBOTT: One copy. > > > > COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money? > > > > ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money. > > > > COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money? > > > > ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT! > > > > > > > > A few days later. > > > > ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? > > > > COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off? > > > > ABBOTT: Click on "START"............. > >