1. Bull mkt - A random mkt movement causing investors/traders to believe that they're a financial genius.
2. Bear mkt - A 6-18 month mkt decline when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no sex.
3. Stock split - When your ex-wife and her lawyer equally split your stocks between themselves.
4. Market Maker - A person who for some mysterious reason is not in prison
5. Algorythm - A computer program designed to screw as many investors/traders as possible
6. P/E Ratio - The percentage of investors/traders who wet their pants when the mkt crashes.
7. Institutional Investor - An investor/trader who makes investments while being a patient in a mental health facility
8. Correlation & Regression Analysis - A statistical analysis that causes the intelligence of investors to regress
9. R Squared - Renal failure
10. M.B.A. - An academic degree that causes investors to actually believe that they won't have any losing trades
11. CNBC - Can never be correct
12. Short seller - An investor/trader who is under 5' 5" tall