BEST JOKE I'VE READ
#21
Posted 17 April 2008 - 12:19 PM
#22
Posted 17 April 2008 - 12:20 PM
#23
Posted 17 April 2008 - 03:14 PM
'What a coincidence'
A chicken farmer went to a local bar sat next to a
woman and ordered a
glass of champagne.
The woman perks up and says 'How about that? I just
ordered a glass of Champagne, too!'
'What a coincidence' the farmer says 'This is a
special day for me .. I am
celebrating.'
'This is a special day for me too, I am also
celebrating!' says the woman.
'What a coincidence!' says the farmer? As they
clinked glasses the man
asked 'What are you celebrating?'
'My husband and I have been trying to have a child
and today my
gynecologist told me that I am pregnant!'
'What a coincidence 'says the man.' I'm a chicken
farmer and for years all
of my hens were infertile, but today they are all
laying fertilized eggs'
'That's great!' says the woman, 'How did your
chickens become fertile?'
'I used a different cock,' he replied.
The woman smiled and said, 'What a coincidence'.
A DOG ALWAYS OFFERS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. CATS HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT!!
#24
Posted 22 April 2008 - 10:13 AM
A DOG ALWAYS OFFERS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. CATS HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT!!
#25
Posted 23 April 2008 - 10:11 PM
#26
Posted 28 April 2008 - 09:09 AM
A DOG ALWAYS OFFERS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. CATS HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT!!
#27
Posted 07 May 2008 - 07:51 PM
Edited by mss, 07 May 2008 - 07:53 PM.
A DOG ALWAYS OFFERS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. CATS HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT!!
#28
Posted 08 May 2008 - 10:32 AM
One day, John came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It
was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector. It was just
about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son returned
home from school. Tommy was over 2 hours late.
"Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?", they
asked.
Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project,"
said Tommy. The Robot then walked around the table and slapped Tommy,
knocking him completely out of his chair.
"Son, this robot is a lie detector: now tell us where you went after
school."
"We went to Bobby's house and watched a movie."
"What did you watch?" asked Marsha. "The Ten Commandments," answered
Tommy.
The Robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped him,
knocking him off his chair. With lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down
and said, "I'm sorry, I lied . We really watched a tape called Sex
Queen."
"I'm ashamed of you, son," said John. "When I was your age, I never lied
to my parents!" The robot then walked around to John and delivered a
roundhouse right that nearly knocked him out of his chair.
Marsha was bent double laughing, almost in tears. "Boy, did you ever ask
for that one! And you can't be too mad with Tommy! After all, he is your
son!"
The Robot immediately walked around to Marsha, and slapped her
three times.
Edited by mss, 08 May 2008 - 10:33 AM.
A DOG ALWAYS OFFERS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. CATS HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT!!
#29
Posted 13 May 2008 - 09:15 AM
>>>
>>>
>>> An old man, Mr. Wallace, was living in a nursing home.
>>>
>>>
>>> One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed.
>>>
>>>
>>> Nurse Tracy asked him if there was anything wrong,
>>>
>>> "Yes, Nurse Tracy," said Mr. Wallace.
>>>
>>> "My Private Part died today, and I am very sad."
>>>
>>> Knowing her patients were a little forgetful and sometimes a
>> little
>>> crazy, she replied, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Wallace.
>>>
>>> Please accept my condolences."
>>>
>>> The following day, Mr. Wallace was walking down the hall with
his
>>> Private Part hanging out of his pajamas.
>>>
>>> He met Nurse Tracy. "Mr. Wallace," she said, "You shouldn't be
>> walking
>>> down the hall like that.
>>>
>>> Please put your Private Part back inside your pajamas."
>>>
>>> "But, Nurse Tracy I can't," replied Mr. Wallace. "I told you
>> yesterday that
>>> my Private Part died.
>>>
>>> "Yes," said Nurse Tracy, "you did tell me that, but why is it
>> hanging
>>> out of your pajamas?"
>>>
>>> (You've gotta love this ....)
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> "Well," he replied, "Today is the viewing."
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> IF YOU ARE NOT LAUGHING SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU
A DOG ALWAYS OFFERS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. CATS HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT!!
#30
Posted 16 May 2008 - 05:44 PM
" “There is only one side to the stock market; and it is not the bull side or the bear side, but the right side” Jesse L. Livermore