Post your jokes
#181
Posted 07 April 2008 - 09:33 AM
Branson has over 100 different family shows running with more seats than Broadway!
Anyway, a comedian at the Legends in Concert show there said:
"Welcome to Branson, where senior citizens come...and bring their parents."
I patted him on the back.
BIGGEST SCIENCE SCANDAL EVER...Official records systematically 'adjusted'.
#182
Posted 07 April 2008 - 03:36 PM
We all looked at each other and another customer asked, 'What is a seven-hundred-ten?'
She replied, 'You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one..' She went on to say that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there.
The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked 'Is there a 710 on this car?
She pointed and said, 'Of course, its right there.'
If you're not sure what a 710 is http://www.hotautowe.../cogifs/710.jpghttp://www.hotautowe.../cogifs/710.jpg
#183
Posted 07 April 2008 - 08:10 PM
710:
BIGGEST SCIENCE SCANDAL EVER...Official records systematically 'adjusted'.
#184
Posted 21 April 2008 - 10:32 PM
BIGGEST SCIENCE SCANDAL EVER...Official records systematically 'adjusted'.
#185
Posted 22 April 2008 - 09:25 AM
A DOG ALWAYS OFFERS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. CATS HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT!!
#186
Posted 23 April 2008 - 10:48 PM
#187
Posted 24 April 2008 - 03:27 PM
A DOG ALWAYS OFFERS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. CATS HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT!!
#188
Posted 28 April 2008 - 06:49 AM
#189
Posted 28 April 2008 - 10:54 AM
#190
Posted 08 May 2008 - 10:44 AM
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the adjacent hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.
'Please allow me to help! I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me', she told him.
'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man replied.
He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, 'How does that feel'?
He replied, 'It feels great, but I still think my thumb is broken.'
A DOG ALWAYS OFFERS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. CATS HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT!!