194 replies to this topic

[esther231]

ROFL

[mss]

Hot Date At Oklahoma U. A young Oklahoma fan goes to a drug store and says to the pharmacist: "I got a hot date tonight, an' I need me some pertection. How much is a pack a' them rubbers gonna cost me?" The pharmacist responds: "A Three-pack of condoms is $4.99 with tax." "TACKS!" the shocked redneck says. "Gawd a' Mighty, don't they stay on by themselves? -- If you climb in the saddle be ready for the ride.

[Rogerdodger]

MSS: Verrry Funnny. Ha Ha. I'm so LOL.
Try this one:

There was a gas station in Chattanooga, TN. trying to increase its gas sales, so the owner put up a sign saying, "Free Sex with Fill-up."
Soon a "redneck" customer pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his free sex.

The owner told him to pick a number from (1) to (10), and if he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex.
The buyer then guessed (8) and the proprietor said, "No, you were close. The number was (7)."

"Sorry, no free sex this time, but maybe next time."

Some time thereafter, the same man, along with his buddy Scott, pulled in again for a fill-up, and again he asked for his free sex.
The proprietor again gave him the same story and asked him to guess the correct number.
The man guessed (2) this time, and the proprietor said, "Sorry, it was (3). You were close but no free sex this time."

As they were driving away, the driver said to his buddy Scott, "I think that game is rigged. He doesn't give away free sex."

Scott replied, "No, it's not rigged -- my wife won twice last week."

[esther231]

Good one, Roger. A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says,"I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough. "Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her." Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this," She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."

[mss]

MSS: Verrry Funnny. Ha Ha. I'm so LOL.
Scott replied, "No, it's not rigged -- my wife won twice last week."

and so it has begun....... the battle of the dim-wits

[mss]

:santa: OKLAHOMA CHRISTMAS SLEIGH [attachment=6183:attachment]

[stocks]

Yogi Berra walks into the clubhouse and sees his buddy in the whirlpool. Yogi: Hey, what's wrong? Bud: Yogi, I've got a groin injury! Yogi: Really? Where?

[mss]

"Maid's Raise" The Maid asked for a raise: ROGERS wife was very upset about this and asked: "Now Maria, why do you want an increase?" Maria: Well Madam, there are three reasons why I want an increase. The first is that I iron better than you. Madam: "Who said you iron better than me?" Maria: "ROGER said so." Madam: "Oh." Maria: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you." Madam: "Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than I?" Maria: "ROGER did." Madam: "Oh." Maria: "My third reason is that I am a better lover than you." Madam (very upset now): "Did ROGER say so as well?" Maria: "No Madam, the gardener did."

[Rogerdodger]

Roger's wife just sent you a digital message. With only one digit.
(Censors cropped it out of photo. Use your imagination.)


And where did you find that picture of our house?

Edited by Rogerdodger, 27 November 2007 - 10:21 PM.

[esther231]

I don't know about you guys but I have, for sure, felt this way at times being a parent.